Last month a reader of this masthead was form and misguided sufficient to name for me to turn into prime minister. I received a kick out of it however was too busy raging at on-line furnishings corporations and making voodoo dolls of Shane Warne to take it critically.
Then got here our third successive summer time of discontent. Not horrible fires, not the unsettling look-over-your-shoulder hiatus between COVID waves however having the ability to odor a rat but not discover a RAT.
Exhausting stuff. Rapid antigen exams being tougher to find than Djokovic’s vax standing makes rest room paper shortages look like the good outdated days. Everyone’s vacation has been wasted isolating, ready for signs and a RAT dump at Chemist Warehouse.
How did we get right here? Oh yeah, that’s proper. With Omicron overwhelming the sluggish and costly PCR testing system, the federal authorities backed a transfer to speedy antigen testing.
Then they weren’t keen to comply with international locations like Singapore and the UK and purchase kits to give to those that want them. Maybe too preoccupied with signing up to imprecise $100 billion submarine pacts, letting multi-nationals preserve JobKeeper funds and waving away automobile parks in Coalition seats.
The fundamental downside appears to be that in November when the TGA authorised the use of RATs in Australia, no person in the authorities thought forward. Nobody checked out the modelling for hovering circumstances or figured well being staff would desire a Christmas break and holidaymakers would wish exams to go interstate.
Cue empty cabinets, claims of value gouging, disillusion. An affect past inconvenience that –once more – dangers livelihoods and well being and undermines our belief in leaders.
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has had a number of cracks at tackling it – invoking the worth of private accountability and limitations of presidency earlier than arguing in opposition to himself about cash then backflipping and saying some individuals might get free RATs, you continue to with me? – however sufficient is sufficient.
Scott, time you slipped an Evanescence CD into the Clubsport stereo and burned off. I’m taking the reins. And my first act can be getting precise professionals concerned in organising Australia.
I’m calling in the Country Women’s Association.
Back in 2012 my daughter and I volunteered at the CWA pavilion at the Royal Adelaide Show. The Devonshire teas had been the hottest ticket in city. We had been hammered for days, and never as soon as did the CWA girls drop the ball. Not as soon as did clients go sconeless. Not as soon as did we run out of jam or cream.
The ordering, budgeting, rostering, customer support and high quality management was immaculate. These had been no little outdated girls kneading dough whereas gossiping about Joyce’s daughter’s hysterectomy. They had been robust, skilled and uncompromising.
And precisely what Australia wants. Organisational weapons with lived and discovered expertise who take cost in instances of disaster with no fuss. Who know that failing to plan means planning to fail.
Imagine if these holidays you bypassed PCR queues to hit up a CWA pop up at footy ovals or buying centres. A fast guidelines, and the girls would rule for those who wanted a check. No wasted cash or time. And your youngsters can be advised to put their telephones away and never slouch.
Moving ahead, AFL boss Gillon McLachlan can be tapped to collaborate due to his confirmed organisational chops. And all politicians could have to have a planning check, not a regulation diploma or need to make a distinction.
They’ll have 24 hours to ebook guardian instructor interviews, take youngsters to the orthodontist and basketball, service the automobile, purchase Christmas presents for twenty-four individuals, prep a month of freezer meals, counsel their finest buddy, train and do their paid job.
They’ll be disqualified in the event that they’ve ever ask a companion, “Should I hang the clothes out?” or “Should I call Mum on her birthday?”
Simple. Then I’ll slip again quietly to the Warnie dolls, the nation in the most secure of arms. Country ladies, your nation wants you!